We had a heated argument and I removed my ring and threw it to his face.

Got married 8years ago while was six months pregnant and two weeks after our wedding I put to bed, lost one of the twins, the boy. My husband lost his job two months after that and tried so many businesses but always loosing interest when things get tough, He got into debt with some of his business associates and left for Lagos (we were in Kaduna). I was harassed by his associates and had to leave Kaduna for Jos.
Stayed with my brother and started looking for Job and school for the kids. Got a job as a call center Rep with MTN, tried convincing him several to join us in Jos but e refused. We didn't see for 1year 8months. I got a slot for interview for him with the call center and convinced him to come over which he did.
He got the job and finished his training and was awaiting resumption, but did not resume bcos the call center shutdown it's operations. I became jobless and also hubby.
He lost his dad that same year and went to Lagos for the burial and after the burial it was one story or the other. He would not come back instead said we should move to Lagos in July of that same year 2012. He changed his mind again saying he does not want family wahala since his step mom was in the house. Stayed back and got another job with MTN but as a contract staff.
Hubby started misbehaving by seeing other women and won't come visit. I became the one pursuing husband oo. 2013 my rent was due and he promised paying bcos he had started fish farming business in Lagos, well it was time to pay rent and oga talk say I should borrow and pay that he doesn't have which I did to pay back became wahala oo. In the midst of all that I los my dad in June of 2013 and burial was fixed, oga gave a flimsy excuse of not having money to come for burial. I was so upset and so was everyone (my siblings and mom). My elder brother paid for the rent and went to see my hubby after the burial. Meanwhile hubby was not talking to me from that time till December. Well that December I sent him a message that we were coming over the holidays, I got a reply that says if I don't want trouble I should stay were I am and not come over if not I will know whom I married, well I told myself I want to see trouble and at the same time know who I truly married, I booked our flight I went to Lagos but on a second thought decided to go to his sister's house. On Christmas day I took the kids and went to see him in Ikorodu. I had replayed what I will do in my mind. We had a heated argument and I removed my ring and threw it to his face. Well my anger was, 1. He was not responsible for his kids even though he was doing well in the business. 2. He did not come for my dad's burial.3. he was not concerned about me or my needs. 4. I was sexually starved (bcos I get to see him once a year).
2014 put him behind me, concentrated on m job and kids. October of the same year oga called for reconciliation and i foolishly agreed, but h gave a condition that we must move down to Lagos. I started job hunting and in July of. 2015 we move down to Lagos.
I took in immediately and was wishing and praying it will be a boy.
On infidelity, I knew that oga was not faithful and was putting up with that ,he kept promising he'll change, while we were in Lagos I stumbled on his WhatsApp chat with a woman I respect and thought was a mother, they were sending nude pics of themselves and confessing their undying love. My hubby even said his soul is tied to her. I was sick, this woman is married and is his old and her husband is a pastor. I confronted him and he denied, I held my peace looking at them like mumu. Didn't know what to do. I was planning on going to her husband's office to show him but didn't know how to go about it. My hubby whom was no talking to me since the confrontation came one morning and said I know what you are planning, well we talked at length that day and he begged for forgiveness and made me delete it on my fone. January 2016, he started again with his no talking tried reaching out to him to know wats up but he refused to open up.
I put to bed on 29th of March, on 31st of March my hubby left home saying he was going to his brothers house at agege, he never returned home, he switched off both his lines, send him messages on Facebook and email he didn't reply. He always come online Facebook, seen that he has read my messages but no reply.
Again he has in so much debt with people which I didn't know get to wen he left. Was harassed by a micro finance Bank he collected loan from to the extent of the coming to carry my car but. God intervene.
He. Left me stranded with three kids, the rent on the house was due, no money, had to remove the kids from school even he wasn't the one paying their fees. I had no where to stay in Lagos. Had to leave Lagos for Jos.
Am currently in Jos job hunting.

MY PRECIOUS JEWEL.....

I have been searching for a word to qualify this priceless Treasure God gave me, over a decade ago, Foyinsolami Jemimah, changed my status, the reason I am called a Mother...........She was so fragile as a baby that I felt, it was because of the pamperings, she didn't walk until she was a year and 4months, I had to take her to my Bigsis in Benin, Edo state for 3months ,that perhaps seeing my Bigsis 's son who is 6weeks older will motivate her to walk ,after alot of effort, won't forget taking her to see an orthopedic surgeon, to ascertain if she has tibia bones, (trust Nurses now) lol... Fast-forward to 2014,a senior colleague adviced me to tutor my daughter well, seeing she's d only one I've got(lost her younger brother, my first son 6years ago at birth) I summoned courage that this fragile Eyin Eyin of mine(egg egg) as some of my friends fondly call her should be strong,i started by making her do the little little chores in d house, sweeping, dusting, mopping, assisting mummy in d kitchen, won't forget how she burnt her finger once trying to put on the gas, just encourage her, before you say Jack Robinson, Foyin started cooking noodles, boiling Yam, Rice, make Eba, cook spaghetti and fry plantain etc. My baby kept improving,to the extent that if she cleans and tidy up your house you will see a professional touch.... wink. ... Took my daughter to visit a friend in SouthEast London last month while on holiday, she had alot of cookings to do so I joined her in the kitchen, seeing how her two kids had turned d house upside down,i asked her to tidy the house while we do the cookings, my friend was amazed, and she said... Ore u are blessed for training this girl like this .Did I mention that I am very strict, hence once you see my daughter, you will ask if her mother is a teacher, cos she is well behaved to the glory of God, but she will always say.... No my mummy is a Nurse, on arriving at the Airport in UK last month, she was assisting a lady with her luggages and the Lady asked"Oh girl u are well trained "and she said "Thank you ma" .Aproko come carry me yesterday, I came back from Night duty at almost 2pm cos I waited to sort some things in the hospital, got home and remembered we needed to shop for the house, not even a single milk in the house, can't afford to go to work without getting the stuffs for d house, I beckoned on my maid, and seeing I have just 7K cash in my purse asked if my maid can use d POS machine, she screamed..... Mummy Noohoo, let Foyin come back from school, we will go together lol. Lo and behold school bus came at about 5.30pm and I asked if she can go shopping with my maid and use d POS machine? She said... Yes mummy and off they go..... Fast-forward to the happening at the mall, she picked all we needed for the house and walk up to the Cashier after telling her d bill, my maid was just wheeling the stuffs while small mummy was doing the talking, she asked, excuse me, can I use the POS machine? The cashier laughed, then she brought out d ATM card and the lady asked her, do you bank with Zenith bank? She said No ,but my mummy does lol, my maid said "Everybody in the mall fixed their gaze on a 10year old girl that wanted to use the POS, she wasn't bothered, she type my pin i whispered to her ears while they were going and shielded the pin she was typed lol, and Oluwajomiloju paid for all the stuffs, no be small shopping o.....A friend told me some years back that a woman with just a child is as good as a barren woman....God has given me every reason to be joyful for the gift of my Angel. Hope I haven't overstretched her my fellow Finsters?

When I saw him, I burst into fresh tears because he was looking so tired and dirty. I held him tight and took him inside...

About two weeks ago, my mom fell ill, so me and the boys went to her place to take care of her. She had a live-in help before but she sacked him when he went out one day and returned the next day, reeking of alcohol. So, we were at her place when I had the most terrible experience of my life.
Last week Tuesday, two of my committee members,  and me went shopping for our just concluded hangout. I knew my mom was in no state to watch three active boys so I called my former help, Stella to come help watch the boys until I returned from the market.

My house guest, Ruth Williams Chikodilli had earlier travelled with her kids, so I had to call Stella. We were done shopping and were at Obehi's place to drop some of the stuff when my mom called me that they had been looking for my son, Derek for the past hour. I couldn't breathe for a moment because I couldn't imagine what I was hearing. I asked where Stella was when Derek left the house and she said no one knew when he left. There was some construction work going on upstairs, and the sand the workers were using was outside the compound, so they left the small gate open. That was how Derek sneaked out.
Derek is my special needs baby, so I drummed into Stella's ears to lock the doors and keep the keys far from his reach. He doesn't understand danger. Derek can see a lion or a snake and start chasing it. Derek could enter a forest at 2am without any fear. Derek would ignore a stranger's questions. Derek has not succeeded in memorizing my phone number so, I began to imagine the worst. What if he fell into a ditch? What if he was hit by a car? What if he met with bad people? What if I never found him?
I started to pray as I jumped into the cab with Sis Obehi in tow and we raced home. When we got to the house, we went round my area, screaming his name. But there was no answer. I was asked to go to the police station to check if someone had found him and taken him there, so, Sis Obehi and I raced to Ugbor police station but he wasn't there. We were asked to try the police station at Limit road, and we went but he wasn't there either. Then I started crying because I couldn't imagine where my baby boy was. The police men tried to allay my fears, they told me I would find him but I didn't believe them at that moment.
I begged Sis Obehi many times to go home to her own kids as one of them was ill that day, but she refused. She stayed with me till 8pm before she finally left. Please, thank her for me.
Meanwhile, I had earlier called my pastor and sent a message to the women in my church and everybody started praying. I couldn't pray much but I started talking to God. I remembered the scripture which said I should present my strong reasons to Him and I started talking. I told Him I couldn't sleep that night without my baby, how could I? How could I sleep knowing that my baby could be lying hurt somewhere? I told God that He knows how much I love the people He cares about, how much I love and give so much of myself to others and to His house, I reminded Him of the 30 Day Bible Verse Challenge I was doing on my facebook wall, and I asked what people would say if they heard this kind of thing happened to me after posting scriptures on my wall. I asked Him what atheists would say. I reminded Him that He just had to defend His integrity.
By this time, it was almost 9pm. I went back home and just sat outside, crying. A few minutes later, I got up again to go look for Derek and my mom tried to stop me. I told her there was no way I could sit and wait. I would go out. As I came out of the compound, I saw my mom's neighbors, a man and his wife and I told them what was going on. Immediately, the man started praying. All I could mutter was "Amen." The man got on his knees and prayed a simple prayer. He just asked God to return Derek to me that night, and he got up and told me that before the next morning the matter would be solved. I thanked him and started to set out. I decided to call my ex and tell him about Derek, and he started yelling that I better look for that boy. I was too weak to say anything to him and he hung up. He called back to ask if I had checked with my neighbors and I said I had. He began to yell again and this time, something snapped inside of me. I told him to stop yelling, and that if that was all he had to say, he should stay off my phone until I called to tell him I found Derek. And I hung up.
About 10 minutes later, my sister called me that someone called her that they found a little boy at Iyeke-Ogba. She wanted to know what Derek was wearing and I told her. Derek left the house with a sweat shirt and underpants. No trouser and no shoe. She said the boy they found was wearing a sweat shirt and a tight trouser and my heart fell. But I called her back and told her to ask the person to get his name, and I began to pray for Derek to answer. She called me back and said the person said he answered, "Derick"
I began to run towards the junction and she said they were going there to check. I told her I was coming to meet them but she said I should not bother. I didn't heed her at all. By this time my cab guys (past and present) were with me. As we were driving off, she called me again that they were almost there. Long story short, when they got there, it was my Derek. He had wandered into one woman's shop, and sat there and was playing with her dog. The woman, Mama Precious, said she waited for a long time for him to leave but he didn't. Then she started asking him questions but he refused to answer. She decided to take him round the area, asking everyone if they knew him, but nobody did. That's when it occurred to her that he was lost, so she sent word out, and her word met ours, and that's how Derek was found.
My sister brought my baby to me. When I saw him, I burst into fresh tears because he was looking so tired and dirty. I held him tight and took him inside. By this time it was past 11pm. I gave him a hot bath and a warm meal and he looked himself again afterwards. He fell asleep immediately, and I just kept staring at him in awe. I couldn't believe it was him in my bed. I began to thank God again and again. He proved Himself faithful to His Word, and I appreciate everything He has done for me.
I called Sis Obehi and told her Derek had been found and she broke down and cried tears of relief. I also called my ex and he sounded relieved too.
Derek sure needs to go to a special needs school, and I have started the necessary steps to get him into one. These schools are not cheap hence the delay ever since but I am going to do whatever it takes to get him into one. Someone recommended a school here in Benin to me, and I have visited the school. Hopefully, he will join them soon.
A lot of my Benin Finsters were calling my phone that day because of their T-shirts but I couldn't answer. I understand you sisters were upset you couldn't reach me, I'm sorry. As you can read, it was not intentional at all. Thanks for your patience and for an awesome hangout.
I give God thanks for returning my son to me unhurt, and because I have come out to testify of His goodness, I have overcome. Glory to God!
Thanks to everyone who assisted me in prayers and in searching for Derek. God bless you all greatly.
Long live FIN.
I. See. You.

I flung away the high-heeled shoes I was wearing and started running without shoes like a mad woman

Evening to all Finster out there.Its actually my first post here.Woke up early as usual,got my kids dressed for school and dropped them off.Just this evening,I hurriedly closed from work to go get them.As I drove into the school premises,one of my son's classmate rushed to me and said "Mummy Torres,Torres had his head broken and their was blood all over his cloth".What!Flunged away the high-heeled shoes I was wearing and started running without shoes like a mad woman.My son ke,blood?Got to the walk way and saw my poor little boy with plaster on his forehead. What happened?He said he was pushed by one of his classmate and hit his head against whatever I did not care to listen.Chai,where is the boy?He said he has gone home.My head started spinning like a carousel.What actually got me angry was the fact that the boy's mother could not wait to apologize to me...I went to the sick bay and i was told that the cut was a little deep.So he was given a pain killer injection before it was stitched.Imagine!Can't wait for tomorrow to come as i am ready display my quality.The pikin mama sef go know as I carry my pikin for nine solid month na so she carry her own too.

Karma is Real.... Heheheheh

Hello sisters in the house my first post here actually!!!!! I appreciate my friend for adding me to this group i have really learnt alot, av been inspired to share my story with u guys i got engaged in 2014 to someone i thought was one of a kind we both didnt hve a job as at that time as passed i was able to secure a job for him because they wanted a man for d job not a lady in lagos see me see wahala oh!!! Dis guy went to lagos nd didnt just treat me bad he stopped calling me nd sent me a message one morning saying . "plz bby i dnt think we can go on because i can't marry a woman who is jobless she will be a liabilty to me!!!! I felt bad @first but i realised i moved on even faster than i thought months later i got a job in imo state in 2015 he lost his job!!!! And had d guts to come to my office to look for me i asked my receptionist to keep him there and i took d back door nd left!!him there now he's coming bk to ask for forgiveness i tell am say am sorry dude plz i cnt marry a man who is jobless because he will be a liabilty to me abeg my sisters!!! I do bad???????

"One chance....kidnappers....

My sisters.....when you read other write ups here you have no idea how challenging it is to put the words together.... Shay now na my turn....e hard ooo walahi. When we hear "One chance....kidnappers.... wara-wara-wara" people like me will always hian how e take happen. My own be like action movie o starring Haliiberry (moi). I was heading home with a friend on a Friday night (7.30) when we chartered a taxi in front of Transcorp Hilton....abeg who go ever believe say agent of darkness go park around such well known place looking for scapegoat chei....na so we enter the cab o. I sat in front and my friend sat at the back. While we got to area 11 he suddenly made a U-turn and faced central area....Oga where u dey go? He said e get one short cut Wey he wan follow. Sweethearts @dat tym we knew something was fishy because this man had gone totally off our route. Na so I begin plead the blood of Jesu. This driver put up all the glass....increased the music...speeding recklessly and was violating all the traffic red light. He threatened he was going to kill us and brought out a gun and attacked me in front. He kept on hitting my head on d headrest, blowing my eye with his fist. I had my seatbelt on which made it difficult for me to fight back 100%. I was lost I didn't even know where or what my friend was doing....I swear e come be like say na only me dey motto. My darling friend had opened the back door and jumped out while I was still struggling. Then I realized we were under a lonely bridge someone in central area. When I took off my seatbelt I opened the door to jump out then he made my exit easier by pushing me out. Sisters as soon as I land for ground na so I hear ****Boooom**** this man used his tyres to run over my knee. Yes my knee. For those of you who drive you know how a car gallops when you climb a stone. That was d feeling o. And my friend was in the bush screaming Halima runnnnn.....and there I was on the floor screaming I cannot move my legs are broken. And I suddenly found myself dragging myself from that spot because I didn't know if he brought us to where his other gang members where. To cut this action movie short my friend made a call to one of my man friend who to pick us up as no car we flagged down agreed to stop (I no blame them sha bcz dem fit think say na decoy) Guess what ladies after xray no fracture....even the nurse who attended to me didn't believe it except for the track of the tyre Wey dey my skin Wey make her believe because even me I had to ask myself if indeed it happened. God of Bishop Oyedepo scattered that man's plan because at the end he threw my purse back at me meaning he no even rob me. And all the struggle sef my fone dey my hand and he no collect am. I'm happy to be alive o because the recovery was a painful one and the trauma hasn't gone. Not bn able to walk or shower for weeks but I still thank God because not all live to tell the story. God has given me another chance to make things right with him

On Troublesome Neighbours.

On Troublesome Neighbours.
I was 8 months preggy when we moved to a new apartment.
Little did I know that my neighbour is TROUBLE PERSONIFIED.
(Like all these London Iya insurance who sit on the window and watch ALLLLL happenings in the neighbourhood)
Night 1 - Around 11pm , BEING A LIGHT SLEEPER, right behind my bedroom window, I started hearing Hammer and nail RAGGAE. 
First feeling was fear .... My enemies followed me to this new house , AfricaMagic Wickedness came strongly to mind.
My heart beat a thousand times in a millisecond. It went on for almost 45 minutes. I was so tormented, disturbed and couldn't sleep much that night. 
I prayed all sorts of prayers especially FORGIVENESS OF SINS and plenty promises not to look for trouble again. 
Honestly I was so terrified.
Night 2 - Same time Same Action. 
But the fear was reduced and curiosity had set in. Fear will not make me pull the curtain and peep from my window ..... make the evil spirit no enter my stomach ... Issshhhhhhhhhhh.
Night 3 - Same time Same action. 
Meaning 3 nights of NO SLEEP for an heavily pregnant woman.
Night 4 - Anger and irritation had completely taken over. I said if this demon will make me run mad, I must know Wetin e be sef.
Be it Kukute or Shigidi or Egbere or Ofiliganga ..... anyone sef - I am ready for battle. 
So I went to my Window and peeped and SAW THE THING !!!!
Night 5 ..... Same time. I woke up and started Strategizing on how to face THE THING.
Day 6 - I caught a Revelation.
Night 6 - 10.45pm , I got my WHITE WRAPPER and tied it on my bare body.
I got my Red Scarf and tied it on my head. 
Got my White Powder Mixture and dotted my face and arms and legs.
Got my small mortal and pestle that Ibos use to pound stuffs for cooking. 
Hubby was begging me coz of my being heavily preggy but I wouldn't listen.
11pm ... Hammer and Nail started Romancing again.
I carried my small wooden pot and made for the door. 
I tiptoed from my kitchen door straight to the location of the sound and Screamed
"EYIN AIYE OOOOO - ERAN YIN REEEEE OOOOOOO"
(Meaning Deities - this is your meat ooooooo)
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hammer went East ...
Nail went West ...
The wood She was knacking went South ...
The Knackee herself went North...
I heard several fallings and standing ups noises.
Thus I bought PEACE for myself. 
No arguments!
No fights!
No screaming!
No Insults!
No quarrels!
Thus far, there have been PEACE UNLIMITED!!!!!
Hey Finnites
Anyone had or still have a stubborn neighbour that you've silently dealt with and fix the 'Situation'?
Share and let's have a good laugh and teach other sisters how to acquire Peace without War.
Yours Sincerely 
Innocent me.

I was beaten dat night till my mouth denied me cry,

You know when your village people has gathered in the village square and plan for you eh, it will only take Apostle Johnson suleman's speaking intongues to deliver u! 
I come from a family where seizing of phone by dad is like a culture and d thing will so pain me eh that I will be y e no b me born this man make I just teach him lesson mtcheww 
Naso my bobo come buy me new fone and I come dey use am unto hiding way nah u know, will only bring it out when am outside d house and flex and also in the night to construct love message wet dey scara Bobo's oblungata na kos I b prof for sweet message nah *head swelling things'
Naso one night nah, oh somobori shout one night oooo! Popsy send me go buy shaving stick for across d road o, Naso I go dr go balance type this 5pages message of sweet things oh telling bobo how I enjoyed the mmmmmm *na u get ur mouth o* dt we had in d afternoon wen I visited and how I can't wait to speak in Swahili tongues again o Bla Bla Bla.... Oh wisdom! Satan come punish me o I carry this thing go send kpakam.... For my dad fone o Choi! Me sef no even know Wetin apn, was smiling like fish head nah waiting for bobos reply nah..... 
I come reach house nah after eating, was busy waiting n I didn't see his reply, for the first time I placed ds fone under my pillow and slept off still waiting for bobos reply...
Small time my fone started ringing ooo, did I tell you I forgot to put it in silent after I came back to the house, oh! Naso dad follow the sound come my room kos he was dialing d number nh, Jesus *in Okon voice*i have finises *in Jennifer voice *,
All I heard was give it to me! 
My sisters in the Lord! Even Satan would have had mercy on me compare to what my father did to me dt night, even my spirit denied me dt night... 
This man woke every body up n all came to the living room and he read everything line by line to dr hearing, I felt like closing his mouth n still trusting God I was dreaming, I couldn't even look at mum...
I was beaten dt night till my mouth denied me cry, u know dt feeling wn u r tired of crying and wn u open ur mouth nothing comes out again. Dt was what happened to me that night 
The next morning I woke up before every body and did all the chores greeted everybody including my younger ones good morning oh! Me of all people.
That's d story I will live to tell even my next generation

And God answered me....

We finally got home and she was not reaching any milestones. At 7mths,she couldn't carry her head,she can't see, sit,stand or even make sounds.But you know what, my hubby loved her so much. I went to different pastors for prayers, i cried every day and nite even at work. My friends and sister stood by me.

People said different things. Some said dt it was my hubby dt use my dead baby and the special one for rituals and want my head too, some said dt it was God's punishment to us for getting preg before marriage etc. Despite all these, i loved her. She is so pretty , innocent and adorable. As a Catholic, i did a novena to the holy spirit, i begged God to take her cos she was going through so much pains. God finally took my baby on April 4th 2013 at 8months, 2weeks and 1day while she was sleeping at nite. I kissed her and bid her farewell.

Despite all these challenges, God loved us and stood by us. I was 29yrs and hubby was 30yrs. People said dt i will not be able to get pregnant with a massive fibriod and that my womb has decayed cos i carried a dead baby in my womb for more than 7months(Very rare to survive). I asked" who are you to say when God has not said". We decided to relax and enjoy ourselves before getting pregnant and to do our white wedding which we did in April 2014.

I took in immediately and delivered Chizaram (God answered me) in Dec 2014 with a stress free pregnancy. While the baby was 10months old, i took in again and had Chizitelu(God sent)in June 2016.

I remembered my late mum's prayers to me while growing up. She said, my only daughter" i pray that you will marry somebody like you dad, somebody that will always put you first after God and somebody that will love you more than you do". God gave me all these qualities in my hubby.

God, gave us double for our loss, he blessed me with two angels and a wonderful man. No matter what you are passing through, always know that is a phase. If i can have my kids, then you will. God is ever faithful and he keep his words.

Relax for your own testimonies.
I see you all.
Fin cares.

My illness, trauma, depression and then healing testimony...

My heart goes to anyone dealing with whatever form of illness and disease; I pray you strength and healing.

Exactly a year ago, 19th Dec 2014 when the battle for my health and life started after what was called a “minor” surgery.

"Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."
― Emory Austin.

I am not one very comfortable dropping private story on FB, but I found strength in someone's journey to healing shared here on Facebook.

I believe my story will also encourage someone not give up hope.

19th Dec '14
Heart cold as stone as the nurse wheeled me into the theatre with a smile...

Are you feeling "high" already the doctor asked…
I gave him the STFU look...(well I wasn't in the mood for one of his dry jokes)
she never laughs to any of my jokes he said...

My heart beating faster for fear of not knowing what lies ahead.
I gave my will to the Anesthesia as I drifted away...

Hours passed...

Loud shouts of my name Deola! Deola!! Deola!!! Snapped me out of my deep sleep, the storm is over someone said...

Trying to see if I would recognize people around, the Nurse started with the who is this questions...I responded with sounds that convinced her I did. I couldn't keep my eyes opened for long; I went off and on through the day.

The Beginning
Well, it started like a sore throat, became so stubborn and resistant of all medication. Swollen tonsils ( one would assume it's tonsillitis). The bigger the swelling the tighter the jaw locks.

Every sledgehammer antibiotics had nothing on it, the more the doctor aspirated (Get fluids out of the gum with a needle and syringe) the bigger it gets.

I have lived with peptic ulcer before then, with my inability to feed it became very aggressive. I couldn't be administered stronger painkillers because of this state; I felt Pain 100% all the way...Pains that confused the brain, Pains that rendered me numb.

..the struggle is over I thought to myself, now I will be able to eat, Take spoon into my mouth, clean my teeth with a toothbrush...
little did I know this would be the beginning of a very long night.

After the surgical procedure to remove the tumour growing on my tonsil which closed up my mouth and obstructed my speech. I came back with severe muscle spasms worse than I left with, I was still unable to depress the jaws. Days turned weeks, weeks-months.

I was moved from Lagos to be with Family who carried my ailments in theirs minds.

My little flesh was gone, I was bone dry.
Finding innovative ways to feed me watery cerelac was a necessity for my survival.

Vulnerabilities
I hated never to be in control of things that concerns me...I fought so hard as I became the object of pity. I used up all my energy questioning why I was not getting better; resisting my reality

I lost grip...

Traumatized by my own pains and experiences. Panic attacks became something handy; concentration became a rumour...

..So I am dying I said to myself...

Events looked unpredictable, passing out could happen when ever and where ever. I could no longer be by myself...insomnia, severe migraine, my pulse slowing down while I go on and off... Scary!

Acceptance
As events unravel, I thought to myself: "But Deola you are not dead yet nah"
I began my Journey to healing with the acceptance of my reality at the time, my predicaments. I embraced my vulnerabilities, you don't have to fix everything yourself Deola, it's okay to take help from people… you are not in control

"The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it" -Nicholas Sparks

Healing
Learning to walk again...
Father takes me on a walk every morning at the backyard. Gradually I gained confidence that I could do better. Father would tell me don't push it, Slow and steady wins the race.

We travelled 3-4 times a week to the closest teaching hospital, which is in Ile- Ife.
I started with Physiotherapy sessions to correct my deformed body. I wanted to stand upright again.

Months after, my posture improved but my mouth still closed up.

In Lagos, another Surgical Procedure was scheduled based on misdiagnosis to Open up my Locked Jaws, by this time I had no strength to resist anything. I was tired of the back and forth...2015 is running to an end I said to myself.

At the height of preps, a superior specialist showed up to discard this wrong diagnosis, this was my saving grace from what would have changed my life forever.

I commenced an intense treatment/therapy for Fibrosis and Temporomandibular joint ankylosis.
A deeply painful procedure of forcing the Jaws open with crazy tools some looked like pliers. I would cry until I feel nothing (numb).

I put the last ounce of Faith in me towards this...
I was told it wouldn’t work, it’s a waste of time

I believed it would.

And Yes! It worked.

Oh that beautiful feeling whenever we take measurements and there is an improvement. I remembered calling my Family to share the news of being able to get a spoon into my mouth... We celebrated like we won baba Ijebu.

I faced my fears of eating in public...I was so conscious of my disabilities and the stare I get from People (probably wondering "why this one dey chop like this" )

Overtime, I couldn't be bothered who watched as I picked the grain of rice one after the other or how long I spent consuming a tiny portion of food.

11months down the line...going through different specialists; Ent surgeons, Maxillofacial surgeons, Cardiologists, Physiotherapists, Iya Alagbo, Baba Aladura, Wolis, Pastors, Herbalists, Pharmacists and the “ists” I don't remember to add…

My body healed up gradually and finally!

The Mind (PTSD)
Getting back at life to start my normal routine of work. Flashbacks of events became overwhelming. I would blink severally so I can concentrate. It became difficult to read and understand, as I would read a line several times to get a hold of it.
I would be on the road only to forget where I was going or coming from.
Claustrophobia, Hyper sensitivity, a mosquito bite looks like a tumour...
Fear shows up at my door always.

Depression sets in.

I thought I could handle it myself.

No I couldn't

I sought professional help, I am still on the process...
It is getting better I believe.
It is a daily work, I am glad I could be open about it.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you." -Rumi

Thoughts
The things I had taken for granted, like the free air I breathe, the luxury of packing large chunk of food in my mouth, ability to shout and gist with next door neighbor, the strength to walk long distances... I would think it's natural, Now I know It's a privilege.

My life can no longer be the same, things have changed for me.
A realization that rids me of every sense of entitlement.

I apologize faster now, no time for unnecessary burden. I call out people who offends me-mend fences. No space for negativity

I start living- learning to enjoy everyday as it's a gift.

I know about pains that wouldn't go away, but as crazy as it was, seeing people in worse situations changed my attitude to gratitude.

I am deeply thankful for every day I get to see.

Gratitude
To My Father,
Baba Adé as I fondly call him... You have been a blessing to me.

You would drive me down to the Hospital, sit the whole day in the car waiting for me. You left everything to be there by my side always…Nothing else mattered to you but my health.
Abiyamo Ku Oro Omo.

I am happy that today is a beautiful day- to be thankful to God for life, not one for grieve

I Love you Dad.

Thankful to everyone in my family... Mother, Step Mother, Aunt, Uncle, everyone that showed support.

To Friends, Thanks for Prayers and Support.
My colleagues at work, I thank you all for the love.

To the central force by which all things emerge…I reverence you Abba.

When you send a message to the wrong person

Being honest...😢

I was at work that day when my Aunty rang for a loan... 'She said, please I need £500, I am desperate but I don't want to ring your husband without talking to you first. Please help me ask him'... I was like.. Oh, no problem Aunty, leave it in my hands, I will send him a message now because he is at work too and he should get back to you later on'. Here is the message I composed to hubby... 'Hey Hun, how are you getting on? Aunty Florence just rang me asking for £500 loan! Do we want to loan her? What if we have to chase her to get it back? u'd better know what to tell her because she is banking on you!!'....
I sent the message to Aunty Florence instead😫 I was shattered for the rest of the day! Aunty Florence never called back and we haven't spoken to her since 2012.
Who else has sent the wrong message to the wrong person?

Hunger in Nigeria, Please help fellow sisters!!!

I picked my son from school after work this evening, on our way I remembered we are out of provisions, stopped to get them.
Just as I was about making a turn into our close I saw this lady, in my mind this lady looks familiar, iam so not good at recognising people quickly, then she smiled n I remembered yes she comes to sweep our compound every biweekly. And I waved n said I thought you were supposed to come lastSaturday and she replied she did, that Antie please I need your assistance.
Me: ok what happened?
She: Anything at all pls help me
Me: that is just leaving the supermarket now, ok lemme see if I have anything left. I gave her 1k n kept 1k incase as hubby is not around.
She: Auntie pls even food stuffs my children are hungry no food in the house n my husband haven't collected salary.
Me: haba this is more than I thought, ok pls enter the car.
Long n short of it as we entered compound I told her to wait while I went into the house to ransack my store. Honestly my sisters iam not used to storing foodstuffs as I have a very nuclear family at the mo. So I scooped some raw rice, maggi that my mother in law gave me last 2 months, crayfice that I blended n kept in the freezer *kai i bought that crayfish soo expensive*lol, raw meat in the freezer, fried groundnuts, bread n butter etc but it pained me that iam out of garri.
I went out n handed it to her.
Meanwhile when I first gave her the 1k I told her it was her sweeping money for next weekend. But on a 2nd thought I told her please manage the 1k to buy garri n oil. And pls that 1k is not your sweeping money
My dear finsters this hardship Is real, let us help out as much as we can whenever we can.
Praying for this recession to pass us by, for this is a phase and it must pass.
God bless us all and God bless our country Nigeria.
FinLove....

To all the single ladies, relax, Mr. Right will surely find you!!!

I first of all want to thank the lovely angel who added me to this group. Everyday on fin brings me closer to reality and helps me get a clearer view of life, most especially on relationships and marriage. I deeply want to thank every one for sharing their stories because it ain't easy and also the founder of this group.
My story could be seen as that of a girl who strives to get a good relationship but keeps falling into one bad one to the other Eg I became a bank for some, almost lost my self esteem, almost stopped believing in love, in general i felt love wasnt for me. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't getting good relationship. Funny enough, it seems when you single and in need of a relationship all you see around are people in good relationship and people around you getting married, trust me it aint funny at all cus it gets you thinking way to much, guess some of us can relate to this. Then finally in April this year I reluctantly went for a friend's wedding in another town and i meet this tall dark and handsome guy (just as i used to write in slum books back in secondary school) who ended up been a God sent. I must say I had my reservation initially because i felt he was like the rest i just stayed waiting for when his chapter would finish but he has proved me wrong. He has been a brother, father, friend etc to me. To think at some point i felt i would never have someone to call my own but God has blessed me with one who I can call my own and who gives me peace of mind. Most times I even wonder if it is real or i am dreaming. Just want to let all my lovely and ever beautifull finsters who are single not to worry but use this time to develop,take care and love themselves the best way they can because their mr right is on the way and most times he comes when you least expect, And when he comes you will be so greatfull to God that your past relationships didn't work, its just a matter of time and all will fall into place. I will definitely keep a very big table for my finsters to come wine and dine to their fill. Love you all.........

Sisters please don't tolerate a cheating husband, Divorce him!!!

Hi everyone, I was added to this group by my soul sister and amazing friend Zoe. I got married at a very early age to a pastor and we moved to the US immediately. I am not bragging but I was a great wife then mother of 2 beautiful children. A boy and girl. I was married for 11 years altogether but divorced now. I was very ill last year and my husband decided that he couldn't be there for me but decided to cheat with one of my best friends who was engaged to a girl for 2 years. Now I have nothing against anyone but I took this girl in because she needed someone. I was an amazing wife who made sure there was a home cooked meal everyday, the kids were okay and took care of my husband. But when I needed him, he was cheating. Anyway I wanted to share this as a way to encourage my other sisters. Our culture is not accepting of divorces but do not tolerate any form of disrespect from your partner, husband or anyone. I met my best friend and husband Daryl in my darkest moment and he thought I was the most amazing woman on earth and has treated me no less. He made me his wife on Sunday and we are having our first children together early next year. Yes twins. His first and my 3rd and 4th. Don't ever give up on love. Don't ever think you deserve less. Most importantly, God never gives up on his own. I have always been a source of encouragement to my friends and my experience has made me better. I am here for whoever just needs an ear. It gets better. We are stronger than we know.

Ever met a guy whose dick doesn't work?

Hello Finsters, just a quick question! Ever met a guy whose dick doesn't work? As in so small and dead before arrival?

I tell ya a story of one: so this guy has been on my case for about 2yrs o! Ok.. Lemme just say we had a crush on each other.

So, after about 2yrs of mesmerizing, he finally made a move!

Although he wanted marriage and I don't care for marriage, I actually like him. So, I'm like okay, lemme at least have small fun.

So I finally visited this guy, who is obsessed with cleanliness. His house is very inviting and relaxing.

So whilst we were talking and doing all those bad jazz, I noticed there was no third leg in sight and I'm like, maybe he's an expert in clearing his territory. But he did made a move and I played the Nigerian girl tinz... No sex on first date! Lol

So the next time I was going to visit after about outings, I'm like okay! Lemme prepare myself. I shaved like I was shaving for the whole Africa to the extent I even hurl my skin.

Then I selected some baddest Victoria Secret set and applied all the 'Bath and Body Works' enchanting and luxurious mists.

So I went to this guys house and after dinner, we settled in and did all the smooching and all the good jazz o!

But guess what, when it was time to go to mountain to fast and pray for 40 days and 40 nights, bobo hadn't climbed mountain before it started raining in my land!

Say what? Is this love or something that I hate? Jesuuu... Are you for real?

He sha apologized and all that Bullshit, but guess what second attempt was also a nay-nay.... I mean ZILT!

My only consolation is that at least I had my first orgasm when he went downtown!

Kai! Woman dey see sha o!

But what if I was interested and waited to get married to him before discovering he no get prick?

And this guy is so proud and full of himself ehn...

Shiorrr!

How i mistakenly Lost my 2000 Naira Credit to Ozioma

So, I loaded 2000 naira credit on my etisalat number (which i usually use just for data) via online banking two days ago. After loading d credit (or so i thought), i tried to buy my 3.5G data with it and i got a 'not enough balance' alert. Shocked, i checked my balance and saw that indeed i had just 24naira. I re-checked my transaction and found out dat i got one digit of my etisalat number wrong (i typed in 4 instead of 7). Shucks! Anyway I was about to sadly give up when something reminded me of d present economic situation and so i decided to send a message to d number i mistakenly sent the 2k credit to, asking for a refund. The following conversation ensued. True Messenger identified the name of d person as Ozioma, and so i was able to add it into the text message. The person started calling me frantically and to my surprise wen i finally picked the call, twas a female! In Nigeria (i trust not a FIN sha). And all she was bothered about was how i knew her name! Till now, no apology and no refund o.... I have proceeded to send her daily verses from scripture😂 though I know my 2k is long gone.... Ok i just needed to vent... 

Thanks!

Can anyone please tell me the meaning of "Bae"

I beg u in God's name i need help pls. can anyone pls tell me d meaning of "bae" a call came to hubby fone nd i saw bae he rejected d call wen i demanded to knw who was dat oga turned everytin around nd bcame vety violent i had to run to avoid been beaten by d bully, then he said i had no right to question him on how he saves no on his fone dat i dont have d right to knw who calls him nd now he is keeping malice wit me nd rejecting my food wat do i do now bcos am soo suprised instead of me being d angry one he has now bcome angry fin sis wat do i do?

A surprise from my hubby

Morning my beautiful sis, abeg who don dey this my shoes before, my hubby just came back from from travel o, even as his driver say madam no worry make it go bring oga for airport alone, I say no I join am, na here my story start o ,na so I see hubby with plenty bags one of the bags my name was there, see happiness na I jump up hug hubby with kiss o, come and see how I dey smile, dey do conner eyes of love, for my mind I say all this for me, and was even thinking about who to give out my old clothes so that the new ones go see space, after patiently waiting for hours to open the bags cos hubby dey rest, guess watin dey the bag na books, na so my face change, I now ask why books if he wants me to open books shop, that is how he continue saying, you want to finish your course and doing your project it will not be difficult for me and con see the plenty money when he use to buy the books , with all my expectations say I go dey dress to kill, I still dey vex.

My pregnancy journey and testimony

Finally had time to share my pregnancy journey and testimony to encourage someone here! Was diagnosed with multiple fabriod completely covering my womb, meaning it will be difficult to get pregnant and even if I did, won't make it to full term. Was pregnant in October 2015 but by November 2015 I lost the pregnancy. 

Well, by January 2016 while doctors were still doing plenty test and analysis on what is the best solution for me. I found out I was pregnant again! Now the battle begins.

In February, I couldn't walk cos I was in pain due to the fabriods so doctors adviced I be on rest and no work till delivery.

In march, I started bleeding for 2weeks, doctors couldn't explain where the blood was coming from but my baby was in good shape!

In May, I started having pain on the right side of my stomach and doctors found out my urether was not functioning well, so they had to place a stent to help me empty my bladder.

In June, I was having difficulty in emptying my bowel, they had to use pipe and pump to empty it. It was a painful process.

In July, I was having contractions which was unknown to me because its my 1st pregnancy coming this far. This means pre term labor. In the beginning of the pregnancy, I was told I will have to deliver through CS and in May also I told I had placenta previa but by July the story change, my cervical length was thinning out which was a sign that I can have normal delivery and the 0 previa was gone! The fabriods blocking my cervix were no where to be found! I was placed on bed rest for 3weeks with my head down n legs up. Just to make sure I dont have pre mature baby.

In middle of August, I started having pain, and was told its pregnancy pelvic girdle pain. I couldn't walk, sit nor sleep. The pain was unbearable and doctors agreed to induce me on the 19th of September if I don't deliver before then.

On the 12th of September by 10am my water broke and we got to the hospital by 10.30am. I was 5cm dilated, but since it was my 1st pregnancy, the midwife said it will take another 10hrs or more b4 delivery. With the contractions getting stronger, I prayed for quick delivery. By 11.45am I had my baby. I only pushed for 5mins, before the midwife got back I had been delivered of my baby by another midwife whom my husband went to call. I was still on the floor kneeling when I had my baby, it was so quick and sudden that I couldn't make it to the delivery bed! I carried my baby to full term! 38weeks and 3days! Weighed 3.1kg at birth! God be praised forever! Halleluja! I pray every woman here trusting God for the fruit of the womb to receive their in Jesus Name! Amen!